


tender we fall

by bajahoodie



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drug Use, F/M, Marauders' Era, Punk sirius black, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Teen Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2016-08-30
Packaged: 2018-08-10 15:52:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7851454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bajahoodie/pseuds/bajahoodie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the summer before seventh year, the Marauders are growing up. Sirius flirts with the dangerous world of punks in Muggle London, sneaking out of his terrible house whenever he can. James pretends he's forgotten about his unrequited crush on Lily Evans even though moving on is the last thing he wants to do. Remus can't seem to have any fun anymore, not when he's less than a year away from graduating Hogwarts and being forced to grapple with the beast inside him all alone. Peter wonders if his adoration of his friends is returned at all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All characters in this story belong to JK Rowling not me. This is a fan fiction for personal enjoyment only.

_DEAR MOONY,_

_How are you?? How is your summer going?? I hope you’re packing your luggage as I write this, feeling very fucking excited for a few weeks with James + Pete, and better than usual after the full moon (seems unrealistic to hope you feel GREAT after what you go through… but maybe the new potion is starting to work?? Any side effects?)_

_When you see me again in September, you might not recognize me!! You know I try to get out of the house whenever I can, and I’ve been getting better and better at it, so I’ve been in Muggle London quite a lot lately. It started out with me going to this shitty looking little bookshop with records and things (no I’m not joking, you are such a good influence on me… I really went into a book shop, and am now considered a “regular” there by the Muggles!) Then I met this bloke Fabian (Muggle) there, and I got to know a bunch of Muggles through him. They are all “punks,” and so am I now. They couldn’t believe I’d never heard of these incredible bands like the SEX PISTOLS, the RAMONES, TALKING HEADS etc which are very famous among Muggles (I think you’d like them too, and you can tell just from their names how cool they are.) We all have ripped jeans and leather jackets with pins on them. One of them (Johnny) even has his hair styled in an enormous mohawk (Muggle style with the hair all spiked up in a vertical line). It’s soooo fucking cool but of course I won’t do anything to my hair, Mother would probably Crucio me if she saw me in a mohawk, and anyway I wouldn’t dream of getting a “buzz-cut” (very short, almost bald hair) like some punks have._

_I’m assuming you’ve heard of punks?? There are so many in London now, but I’m not sure if you’ve seen any in your little village. I’ll tell you more in school but what’s important is that we’re anarchists and don’t care about the shit our parents care about you know?? I wish I could spend all my time with my Muggle friends. They give me joints or glue to sniff whenever I want and really, Muggle drugs work better than any calming draught (and not to be crude but some of the Muggle ladies are quite welcoming to me if you know what I’m saying.) Our firewhiskey is definitely better than theirs, though. But even though I can’t be with the Muggles all the time, any escape is amazing when I’ve been locked up in that hell house that makes me want to murder someone or off myself all the time._

_Well, anyway for all my complaining, my summer hasn’t been too bad. If only I could come to the Potters’ too! This place is suffocating me, even if I can get out once in awhile. At least YOU’VE been answering my letters! Everyone else seems to be quite busy. James must be back to writing poetry about “lily flowers on the mountainside” and “red hair fiery as a roaring fire” so I wish you the best of luck for when he starts begging you for help writing love letters again. Poor love-sick absolute DICK! Oh I miss him!_

_If you’d like, I’ll buy you a few records, then we’ll fix your record player and we can listen to music together all the time at school! Just tell me your favourite songs. Well Moonbeam, I’m going to finish fast and put it in the post box before the mailman comes to pick it up. I’m still not very confident on my knowledge of the Muggle post system so I want to leave myself a large window of time to make sure I’ve got enough stamps and all that._

_Write back soon, read some great books, and go wild a little- you know it’s good for you Moony!- and I’ll see you at the 9 ¾ on Sept 1!_

_With love as always,_

_SIRIUS BLACK._

 

Remus studied the letter in his lap for at least the tenth time since he’d received it two weeks before. He almost had it memorized by now, and barely stumbled over Sirius’ hardly-legible flowing cursive, which became progressively more cramped as it neared the bottom of the creamy page. He’s getting out of the house, at least some of the time, Remus told himself. He’s found some new friends. He’ll survive the summer, he always does, even if he has to sniff glue to keep himself sane. But Sirius always kept the most disturbing parts of his summers with the Blacks to himself. Didn’t want Remus, James or Peter to worry about him. _Don’t you know that only makes me more worried?_ Remus wondered.

James and Peter were his best friends in the world aside from Sirius, and there was really no place he’d rather be at the moment, but Remus still found it hard to be carefree. There was, of course, the werewolf issue and all the pains that came with it, like the perpetual ache in his jaw where fangs broke through his sore gums every full moon, and the thick white scars on his knuckles from his curved claws. Then Remus had Sirius to worry about, with his aristocratic cheekbones and eyes that flashed like polished marble when he was angry, who made jokes that didn’t sound like jokes, about the pureblood supremacy his parents believed in and the awful punishments they inflicted on him when he disobeyed. Sirius who was always on the verge of destroying something, Sirius who hadn’t answered his letters in weeks. And when Remus needed a break from agonizing over that, he could count on the great unknown that stretched before him when he thought about life after Hogwarts. One year left in the familiar, and then he was on his own.

Since third year, Remus and Peter had stayed with James for part of the summer, and every year Sirius had turned down James’ invitation to join them. The Blacks forbade their rebellious son from spending time with his blood-traitor friends, and Sirius always insisted he could take care of himself, but Remus knew that no matter how chipper the letters sounded, his friend would take weeks to return to his old self when they began every year at Hogwarts. Sirius needed time to thaw out, though he was a fine actor. Sirius came back to school every September with manic eyes and grins that looked like he was baring his teeth.

As requested, Remus had owled Sirius as soon as he arrived at the sprawling, sunny Potter summer residence in Lagos, Nigeria. When he received no reply, Remus had tried to reach Sirius nearly every day- no response or acknowledgement. _I need to relax and get out of my head_ , Remus tried to convince himself. They were in the largest and richest wizarding city in the world, and had barely even ventured into the Muggle parts of Lagos. Other than the insides of a few bars, he’d seen almost nothing of the city.

“Remus, we’re going to make a pie, James says to come to the kitchen- no, again?” Peter stood in the doorway, peering at the letter in Remus’ hands as he rubbed ointment on to the bright-pink sunburn covering his face and arms.

“D’you think he’s sour at us or something?” Peter asked, looking worried.

Remus shrugged. “It’s possible." Each of them had faced the brunt of Sirius’ short temper at some point or another, and their friend was not above the silent treatment if his feelings were hurt. Sirius could very well be angry he wasn’t included in their vacation, even though he’d been invited.

“What? Padfoot still ignoring you?” James strode into Remus’ room. He was holding a bag of flour in one hand and a single egg in the other, and wearing his favorite KISS THE CHEF apron. There was already a smudge of white powder on his stubbly cheek.

“You may be getting a little obsessed with that letter, I think,” Peter said.

“A little obsessed?! He’s been reading and re-reading it like it’s the next Benny Dick!”

“Moby Dick,” Remus corrected automatically. All the time he’d spent helping James pass Muggle Studies had, apparently, been wasted. “I just keep thinking that maybe his parents caught him with these Muggles he’s been hanging out with, and something bad happened. I wish he would just write back that he’s safe.”

“Well, what can we do?” said Peter. “We obviously would go save him if we could, but we can’t, and he doesn’t even read our letters for all we know. Let’s just make a pie and then-”

“Peter, you GENIUS!” James exclaimed.

“Oh- thank you, really-”

“He wants us to come save him! He’s been waiting all this time!”

“That’s the opposite of what I said!” said Peter, distraught.

“Give me that letter!” James snatched the paper from Remus’ hand. “I don’t know why you wouldn’t let us see this, Pete and I thought for sure there would be- hey, what’s this about me writing poetry? Really, making fun of me for my love when you’re practically- a clue!”

“What’s this so-called clue?” Remus was torn between amusement and horror at what far-fetched clue James would claim to find.   

_“I’ll see you at the 9 ¾ on September 1st,”_ James read aloud. “The 9 ¾? When the fuck has he EVER called it that?”

“I’m sure he has at some point, really James-”

“Everyone just calls it _the platform_ ,” James interrupted impatiently. “See, someone who didn’t know Sirius as well as I do might _never_ have caught that.” James tossed the letter back to Remus. “He’s telling us to meet him at 9:45 in the morning. Isn’t it obvious?”

“You know that’s a huge stretch. There is no way that’s a clue,” Remus insisted while Peter dropped his head in his hands. Remus had only encountered the fearsome Walburga Black once. He still remembered very clearly how Sirius’ milky skin had turned five shades paler when he’d seen his mother, draped in immaculate white furs, standing before him.

‘We’re NOT going to Black Manor!” Peter’s voice was muffled through the folds of his shirt. “His whole family’s mixed up in some dark business! They’ve probably got Dementors roaming the territory to snatch up Gryffindors like us!”

“So Pads should be left in that awful place all summer long?” asked James. “Whatever happened to the Marauders?”

“And what if it’s not a clue and he’s just angry at us for having fun without him?”

“Then he’ll see that we would never abandon him, and he won’t be angry anymore and we’ll take him back here so he can FINALLY summer with us,” James said. “Besides, there are a lot more clues in here. I could list them all, but I think my point has been made. We need to move.”

Peter sighed. “I… fine. You’re right, we’re the Marauders. But we need a great plan… Remus?”

“Well…” Remus said. “I’d hate to think he was waiting for us to come and we never tried to save him-”

“EXACTLY! It’s decided, boys!” James set the bag of flour and the egg onto the floor and pushed his glasses up his nose. “I can’t wait to see the look on his face!”


	2. Chapter 2

Remus’ feet were sore.

He should have worn his trainers, but of course he hadn’t planned on crunching over gravel for- he wasn’t even sure how long it had been; James refused to tell him.

“No, you can’t look at my watch,” James squealed, jerking his hand away from Peter’s. “I told you, it’s not even been half an hour- I can’t believe you don’t trust me, really, some friends you are!”

“That bloke said it wasn’t more than fifteen minutes walk," Peter grumbled.

“Well. Perhaps, in retrospect, he wasn’t the best source, but we do what we can,” said James.

“Who knew, asking a stranger in the Three Broomsticks if he knows where the Black residences are- why wouldn’t that work?” Remus wondered aloud.

“Alright, but- look at this road. I’ve never seen white gravel in the middle of the forest,” James said. “The Blacks would make a road like this.”

“It’s true that it’s very creepy and weird, if that’s what you mean,” said Peter. Dark trees rose up high above their heads, casting irregular shadows onto the road. Every so often, Remus would hear some sounds from deep within the trees, and he could only feel relief that he hadn’t picked up on a wolf howl. He wasn’t supposed to be in a forest like this. Not as a human.

They walked a little longer. “Fuck, it’s cold!” Peter’s bare arms were covered in goosepimples as he rubbed them up and down.

“Look, guys, look,” James was saying as he exhaled forcefully, his breath fogging up. “That means it’s below freezing temperature- doesn’t it? Something like that.”

Remus said nothing and studied the small hairs rising up on his arms. He felt as if thick wolf fur was about to burst through the skin. _It’s not even close to full moon,_ he told himself. _I’m just being paranoid, we’ll be back in a city very soon and I’ll feel normal again._

Finally they arrived at a looming metal gate.

“Most Ancient and Noble House of Black,” read James from a large plaque. “ _Toujours pur_. Alright. Seems this is actually it.”

Remus tried to peer through the openings in the gate. There was a wide green lawn undusted by snow despite the cold, and off in the distance, the house: all gray stone and small windows, a wide staircase leading directly to the enormous entrance. some dimly glittering herd of animals grazing by the edge bordering the forest.

“Those aren’t unicorns, are they?”

“I think they are,” said James.

“You can’t just have a herd of unicorns on your private property, though, that’s not-”

“It’s illegal, yeah. But I’ve heard a lot of rich purebloods keep various exotic animals on their properties. Like unicorns, lions, elephants, you know, um, wolves sometimes. It’s fucked up.”

“For decoration?”

James hesitated. “Or hunting.”

They fell silent, and James tried halfheartedly to open the gate, which of course was locked.

“There he is! There he is!” Peter squealed suddenly.

Remus felt nervous as he saw the figure emerge from the forest with his hands shoved in the pockets of his long black robe and his dark hair looking shorter than before. _I just hope we don’t cause more trouble for him_ , Remus thought.

“SIRIUS!” James shouted. “OI!” He unsuccessfully tried to rattle the gateposts. “SIRI- Oh, fuck, it’s- Uh, hello Regulus, sorry to disturb-”

Regulus Black really was looking more and more like his brother these days. Remus was used to seeing him in Slytherin robes, making him easy to distinguish from his brother, but now he realized the two had the same heavy lidded eyes and full lips.

“Did you really think I was Sirius?” Regulus asked immediately as he reached the gate, making no motion to open it.

“Er… yes,” James answered. Regulus looked surprised and not displeased.

“I don’t think he’s expecting you,” said Regulus.

“Oh. Really?” asked James, and Remus could only bite his tongue and hope that James wouldn’t start talking about secret messages in letters and Marauders always coming to save each other.

"Right, well we really need to speak to Sirius. Could we come in?” asked Remus, feeling daring.

Regulus looked amused. “You know the gates are under very powerful protective spells. They won’t just open without an invitation. Well, not for people like you anyways.”

_“This is ridiculous,_ ” James muttered, and Remus felt inclined to agree. Surely Sirius hadn’t been such a prat when he was fourteen. _Then again_ … Yes, there had certainly been times Remus slept on the common room couch rather than share a room with Sirius and James in fourth year.

“I think he’s busy with his new _pet_ anyway,” Regulus said with a scowl. “But. I’ll tell Kreacher to get him.” He produced a small round mirror from a pocket. “Kreacher? Kreacher, go find Sirius and tell him he’s got some _friends_ at the north gate. You can tell him to go out. Yes. Alright.” The boy shrugged at them and walked away without any goodbye.

“Wow, he’s a dick,” James said as Peter murmured his agreement. “Like we couldn’t hex him in about two seconds if it wasn’t summer…”

Remus remembered how certain Sirius had been that Regulus would join them in Gryffindor. He had seen it as a clear choice his little brother would make: stand by him, or reject and insult him by joining Slytherin. Still, Sirius hadn’t pushed Regulus away immediately; there had been times, long ago in first year, when Regulus would sneak into the Gryffindor common room with them, and cuddle up to his brother in bed. But those days were long over.

_I wonder what Regulus meant by Sirius being busy with a new pet,_ Remus thought suddenly. He could only hope it wasn’t something sexual.

“Moony, how long do you reckon we’ll be waiting here? Moony?” James was yanking on his arm, trying to get his attention.

“Didn’t Mrs Potter say we’re having Jollof tonight?” asked Remus. "In that case, I'm going back for dinner."

James looked gravely offended. “You’d leave SIRIUS for some food? You can’t be- this is just-”

“Not like we need food to live or anything.” Remus smiled.

“Alright, Lupin.” James gave him a playful shove, and Remus grabbed onto the gate to steady himself.

“What the shit- what the fuck is going on?” Peter yelped as the metal of the gate began glowing red where Remus’ hands squeezed it.

“Doesn’t that hurt, Moony? Let go!”

“Oh, yeah…” Remus said as the terrible sickening pain of burning skin washed over him. He forgot how to unclench his hands.  _Ow_.  _This is a lot of pain._

“LET GO, Lupin! Oh shit- okay, Peter, we’ll try to pull him off. Grab his other arm-”

“You’ll be alright, Remus, just relax-”

Remus stumbled back and landed on the gravel as his hands finally released, thankfully not leaving any charred skin hanging on the gate. He was aware in a detached way of Peter dabbing at his face with a tissue he’d produced from deep in his pockets. The cold air on his hands felt sweet as the pain quickly receded.

“Can I have some of that?” He asked James, who was dripping water over his hands with the Forever-Refill magical bottle he usually reserved for Quidditch practice.

“Yeah,” said James, who began to toss it to him before catching himself and self-consciously bringing it to Remus’ lips. “Um, how bad is it? Want me to take us St Mungo’s?”

“No,” said Remus quickly. “It’s… okay now. I’d rather just go back to your parents and put on all the healing salve they’ve got, if that’s alright. But it’s just burned the top layer, I think. Nothing deeper.”

“Are you sure?” Peter looked doubtful, inspecting the bright red skin on Remus’ palms with a delicate and practiced air.

“Yes, really. I wasn’t touching the gate for more than a few seconds.” Remus suddenly felt exhausted. “And Peter, I would stay away from the gate if I were you. James is fine.”

“Why? Wait, why am I fine?” James looked between his two friends, perplexed.

“Pure blood,” Peter said simply. “D’you two think the gate burned Moony because of his, uh-”

“Yeah,” said Remus.

“Oh,” said James. “Oh, shit. I’m... sorry I pushed you into it. I really didn’t…” He scratched his head.

“Of course you didn’t know.”

“Master Black will be arriving shortly.” Remus, James, and Peter looked up to see a stout house elf on the other side of the gate. _This must be Kreacher._ Sirius had told him that Kreacher was the Blacks’ most loyal and mean servant, who subscribed to the pureblood ideals as much as his masters did. Kreacher’s buggy eyes lingered on the burns on Remus’ hands, but the elf said nothing.

“Does he mean Sirius is coming?” Peter asked in a stage whisper.

“Obviously, Wormy,” James answered, clearly distracted, trying to see past the elf and find Sirius.

“Master Black could mean a lot of different people,” Peter whispered back. “James. It’s not that obvious-”

“Master Black is arriving,” Kreacher said, looking again at Remus’ hands and sneering.

“What? Where?” James sputtered before the three boys saw the figure of a hippogriff circling above them. “Is he _on_ that?”

The hippogriff landed on the gravel beside Kreacher with a clatter of hooves and talons. Sirius Black slid carefully down the creature’s sleek body onto the ground. His shining black hair was tousled from the wind and longer than before, spilling onto the gray fur of some rare and exotic animal that was draped carelessly over his shoulders. A heavy silver necklace like a collar glinted in the light. It looked tight and painful. “What’s going on here, then?” Sirius asked in a clipped tone.


End file.
